Before we make our final decision on your application, we would like a revised personality section and first person sample. The personality section seems short and shallow; we would like to see more elaboration and analysis of the traits listed and how they come together to form the character’s personality and behavior. The first person sample is generic and should be revised to better show the character’s voice – you might want to consider putting him in a different situation to help with this. You will have one week to complete these requests before the character is available again.