Route 29: ｍｏｄｓ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
these_balls) wrote2010-04-27 11:40 pm
these_balls) wrote2010-04-27 11:40 pm
Entry tags:
Understand the secrets and have some fun
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Tobias | Animorphs | Not Reserved
Name: Matt
Personal Journal:
E-mail: artemiswolfang at gmail dot com
AIM/Plurk/Etc.: AIM: demony0uko; Plurk:
Timezone: EST
Current Characters in Route: Royce Bracket
Character
Name: Tobias
Series: Animorphs
Timeline: End of Book 43
Canon Resource Links: Tobias; Book series
no subject
After he and the other Animorphs started fighting the war, though, he starts gaining self-confidence quickly. He learns - eventually - who his father is, though it's a pretty dramatic reveal. His uncle is revealed to be one of his fellow Animorphs, Ax, and he bonds with him quickly. Possibly most importantly, though, he develops an intense crush on Rachel. Though they don't go very far (for one the species difference, for another they're both young and also fighting a war), their relationship is one of the things that drives him.
He fights with himself, trying to moderate between human and hawk. He has trouble with the drive to survive matched with normal human desires for companionship and friendship. He comes off as aloof sometimes, even if he doesn't mean to. He has a fierce independent streak now, and doesn't want to show weakness - because in the wild if you're weak, you're killed, and his hawk brain knows it. He doesn't want to lose all his humanity, but it's a constant struggle to remember simple things like warmth and touch.
Tobias, even in human morph, possesses a strong 'predator' instinct, due to all his time in his hawk form. He also has a little trouble with human mannerisms like not staring intensely at people and using his fingers. He's still kept his human intelligence, though, and is good at practical problems and figuring out ways around things. Even if someone is 'prey', that doesn't mean he'll bully them - he still remembers what it's like to be harassed, bullied, and unwanted. However, letting go of his predatory instincts isn't easy. It's got to be life or death - nothing in between.
He jokes around a lot, and pretends that things are all right, but it's pretty obvious from his narration that things are never all right. Especially after he gets tortured by Taylor, a Sub-Visser in the Yeerk hierarchy, he has flashbacks and trouble dealing with the stress of what happened. It's difficult for him to deal with things like that, since not only isn't that something that he can really ask anyone about because teenage boy embarrassment, but it's also difficult because of the need to keep secrets.
He doesn't really care. He pushes through because of the predator mindset, because he doesn't really have any other options. Besides, he can't stop - everyone needs him. They're the only hope for humanity, after all. They're going to have to keep going, because letting humanity fall is entirely unacceptable. He used to miss being human, but not anymore other than in a vague sense since it would make things easier. He's accepted being a hawk and the fact that his life is going to be short and brutal, but he has to survive until the end of the war at at the very least.
It's just difficult when you don't know exactly where the end is.
Strengths/Weaknesses:
+ Artist. Tobias can draw, and draw well enough to get into local art shows, at least. He's got good spatial reasoning, though it's thrown off a bit when he's stuck as a human.
+ Tactician. While not the 'main' tactical mind behind the Animorphs, he's very good at battling and good at coming up with new techniques on the fly. His battle experience just happens to be more… personal than Pokemon.
+ Empathetic. Tobias, even with his time as a hawk, has a pretty good grasp of emotions. Not his own, but he's kind and quiet and is generally good at being able to pick up on how other people are feeling.
+ Animal communication skills. While he can't exactly speak to animals and can't use thought-speech while human, he's spent enough time as a hawk and as other animals to know how to approach animals, especially birds and prey animals.
- Emotional vulnerability. Even with his years of fighting, Tobias is still a quiet, shy, easily bullied kid. If someone gets past his hawk instincts that still linger, he's easily hurt.
- Poor vision. Tobias never had the best vision as a human, and spending time as a hawk only made him more likely to squint.
- Poor human functionality. Look, thumbs are hard to deal with when you're not used to them, okay? This includes his difficulty with human facial expressions.
- Flashbacks/nightmares. NOt only from just terrible things from the war in general, but Tobias had it worse than some of the others, considering he was tortured. He still struggles with the memory of being captured and mentally and emotionally and physically manipulated.
Pokémon Information
Affiliation: Trainer
Starter: Rufflet
Password: Swedish fish!
no subject
First Person Sample:
Is this thing on?
[Right. Okay good, it is.]
I'm never sure with this thing. … Anyway, look! Washington evolved!
['Washington' in this case being the rather giant Braviary that's trying to sit on his head. It's not working out, because the bird is as big as he is. After yet another thwarted attempt at sitting on Tobias' head, the bird puffs up and preens proudly.]
… We're still working on the uh… landing thing. Anyway, someone told me there was a bear Pokemon? Does anyone have any eggs for one, or know where to find one? Bears always remind me of a friend.
['Friend', right. Probably more than a friend based on how his cheeks are starting to flush a little bit, but shush.]
… Anyway. I'm going to go fly with Washington. Leave me a message if you know.
Third Person Sample:
How long had it been since he was stuck here, with no morphing ability, no contact with the others, and no idea how the war was going? How long since he'd been dropped in this weird world of Pokemon? Even with rumors of Pokemon being stolen, this was a game - and the war wasn't. He'd hoped that the Ellimist would take notice, figure out that something was wrong, but it hadn't worked. Not yet, at least - so he had to adapt.
Being out in the wilderness didn't bother him, even as a human. He was with animals, even if they were strange animals. He was getting along pretty well with them, in fact. The instincts weren't too different, even with the difference in species. No, the real problem was the lack of missions, of things to focus on.
Without missions, what was he supposed to do? He couldn't be the eyes in the sky anymore, and he couldn't spend his days tracking people near the Yeerk Pool entrances. He didn't have to fight for food, and he should be relaxing… but he couldn't help but worry. He probably wouldn't ever stop worrying, or jumping every time his Pokemon woke him with a peck to the forehead.
Instincts weren't so easily lost, after all. Human bodies weren't so easily adjusted to, either. He'd figured that out the first time he tried to sleep in the rain - he'd gotten soaked to the bone and had no way of keeping warm without feathers. Facial expressions, too - those were some of the hardest things to relearn. How did people do this? Had he really lost so much humanity in two years?
Maybe. It didn't really matter anymore. No one here knew that he'd spent two years as a hawk, and he meant to keep it that way. Maybe he hadn't seen any sign of Yeerks - but that didn't mean they weren't here. Totally relaxing wasn't an option. It never would be again, really.
no subject
Revised Personality
After he and the other Animorphs started fighting the war, though, he starts gaining self-confidence quickly. He learns - eventually - who his father is, though it's a pretty dramatic reveal. His uncle is revealed to be one of his fellow Animorphs, Ax, and he bonds with him quickly. Possibly most importantly, though, he develops an intense crush on Rachel. Though they don't go very far (for one the species difference, for another they're both young and also fighting a war), their relationship is one of the things that drives him.
He fights with himself, trying to moderate between human and hawk. He has trouble with the drive to survive matched with normal human desires for companionship and friendship. He comes off as aloof sometimes, even if he doesn't mean to. He has a fierce independent streak now, and doesn't want to show weakness - because in the wild if you're weak, you're killed, and his hawk brain knows it. He doesn't want to lose all his humanity, but it's a constant struggle to remember simple things like warmth and touch.
Tobias, even in human morph, possesses a strong 'predator' instinct, due to all his time in his hawk form. He also has a little trouble with human mannerisms like not staring intensely at people and using his fingers. He's still kept his human intelligence, though, and is good at practical problems and figuring out ways around things. Even if someone is 'prey', that doesn't mean he'll bully them - he still remembers what it's like to be harassed, bullied, and unwanted. However, letting go of his predatory instincts isn't easy. It's got to be life or death - nothing in between.
He jokes around a lot, and pretends that things are all right, but it's pretty obvious from his narration that things are never all right. Especially after he gets tortured by Taylor, a Sub-Visser in the Yeerk hierarchy, he has flashbacks and trouble dealing with the stress of what happened. It's difficult for him to deal with things like that, since not only isn't that something that he can really ask anyone about because teenage boy embarrassment, but it's also difficult because of the need to keep secrets.
He doesn't really care. He pushes through because of the predator mindset, because he doesn't really have any other options. Besides, he can't stop - everyone needs him. They're the only hope for humanity, after all. They're going to have to keep going, because letting humanity fall is entirely unacceptable. He used to miss being human, but not anymore other than in a vague sense since it would make things easier. He's accepted being a hawk and the fact that his life is going to be short and brutal, but he has to survive until the end of the war at at the very least. It's just difficult when you don't know exactly where the end is.
When interacting with new people, Tobias reacts in one of two ways: fight or flight. That is to say that he either stares them down, leaning on his hawk instincts to give off an 'air of a predator' - or he goes quiet like he used to, and hopes the person will simply stop bothering him if they get too uninterested. Neither position leaves him feeling very good about it, but at this point he doesn't really know many other options. He feels trapped by his own nature, and by nature itself. He's a creature that should not exist by all the rules of nature, but he does. He does and he has to carve out his own niche. Interacting with new people is strange and scary and not something he has to do very often given the fact that they have to keep things secret. He's incredibly out of practice.
But to the people he knows, cares about, and fights with he's incredibly loyal. He would never betray their trust or their ideals, and is prepared to die to protect them if he has to. After all, he's the one Animorph who doesn't have a family. He's more expendable, at least in his mind. He will fight beak and talon to keep them from coming to harm, and even more so when Rachel is involved. His bonds are few, but strong. It would take a force greater than the entire Yeerk army to break the connections he feels with his teammates.
All of the Animorphs come out of things with a lot of mental damage, but Tobias may be one of the hardest-hit of all of them. The shock of being thrown from the position of a quiet, bullied, and somewhat abused boy to a creature that needs to hunt and kill to survive takes its toll on him. It takes him a long time to give in and even eat roadkill rather than meat snuck to him by Jake, and longer to kill something on his own. It gets easier over time as he removes himself from the killing, but it makes him wonder if he's lost his humanity in the process. His psyche takes a further blow after being caught and tortured, and he feels somewhat worthless even if he did agree to be caught as part of their plan.
He recovers a bit, but it's not until he faces his torturer again that he feels he's reclaimed part of himself. Which self he's reclaimed, though, he's not sure. There's no longer a distinction between boy and bird, human and hawk. He is a strange combination of both, and he holds onto that identity because it's the one he has left. He can't lose himself into the hawk mind entirely, but he's no longer fully human. This is the foundation of his new identity - not discarding his past, not discounting the future, but focusing on the present and the immediate tasks in front of him. He will push through what he has to, enduring what he can, for the future of people who don't care about him because it's the right - and only - thing to do.
"Who am I? What am I? A bird. A boy. Something not quite human. Something more than human. The person Rachel loves."
no subject
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